Look, I know this is supposed to be a blog about just whatever. Today I want to shed a little light on myself. Not all about me, but what's been going on through my mind. My mom.
My mom is completly sensitive. Shes so sensitive that you can say what you really want to say because it would crush her. Right now she is on a custody battle for my brother. She has kinda had a rollar coaster of emotions. Losing my brother and when he is at our house, he is bored so she feels like she is the boring one and dad is the fun one.....which is kinda true.
A while back she was suicidal and had to be in a hospital for it. Ever since then I have been terrified that if I ever hurt her feelings, she will think about ending her life again.
Its like I can't ever be mad at her because she will go overboard.
Right now, we had a fight. Sorta. She talked to me and acting like it was my fault when it wasn't. I got mad and when I left my house to go to my sisters, she was apparently crying.
I'm worried. I really am. My brother went to a friends so what if she might think about killing herself again. She's at home by herself.
I don't feel bad. At all. Not in the least. I am a person. I am aloud to get mad. I am aloud to not want to fix everything right after it happens. This just isn't fair. Why do I have to have the overly sensitive mom.
If she wasn't sensitive, I'd tell her everything bothering me. I'd tell her that she's lazy. All she does is sleep and play on the computer. I'd tell her she is a terrible mom.
Sure she gives us love and all that but she doesnt cook. And she works and when she gets home, she either sleeps or plays on the computer. And she doesnt have a discipline bone in her body. When we get in trouble, she yells and then that's it. No grounding and no punishment.
If she has a punishment, she doesn't stay to it. She will just cut it short. Or whatever.
She seriously makes me mad. I don't know what to do! I wish someone actually read this to give me some advice. :/
-troubled sarah
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